Uninvited
by sheepish123
Summary: Amanda worries that she is being followed and calls Olivia for assistance, unsure if her mind is playing tricks on her due to stress and exhaustion or if someone is actually stalking her. Amanda/Olivia pairing. *INCOMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so clearly I have an issue with starting stories and not being able to finish them in a timely fashion (or at all), lol. I'm trying to work on this problem, but for now I need to go with the flow and write what comes naturally to me without forcing it, so here is another new story. :)**

 **This fic takes place in season 20 and will not be very long; likely only another chapter or two. Kim doesn't live with Amanda anymore.**

 **I'm halfway through chapter 2 of "Happy Birthday, Olivia" and haven't started the second chapter of "Turbulence" yet (although that story isn't getting much interest, anyway). I've gotten a few requests to continue with "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and I will try to get it finished as soon as I can. My goal is to eventually complete every single story that I've started but I have no idea how long that will take (although I think it's safe to say that they won't be completed within a short span of time, lol).  
**

 **Thanks so much to those of you who are still reading my fics after all this time; I really and truly appreciate it! :)  
**

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Amanda is so used to her life being a certain way that at first she doesn't notice what is different.

The daily routine of getting Jesse up and dressed and preparing her breakfast before freshening up Frannie's food and water dishes in time for the baby-sitter/dog-walker to arrive is so ingrained into her body and brain that she finds herself going through the motions without giving them much thought most of the time. After getting her family members ready for the day and ensuring that both her daughter and pet are happy and healthy and will be okay for hours on end without her there, Amanda rushes into the precinct in preparation for another grueling shift with the worst that society has to offer and the victims they leave in their wake after the heinous offenses that are committed.

When it finally occurs to her that something isn't quite right; that in all the hustle and bustle of being a single mother and a cop and giving every ounce of passion and energy that she possesses to other people, Amanda is terrified and ashamed and chastises herself for not being the astute detective she has always been proud to be. When she begins to notice another presence in her life, a shadow that lingers on the periphery more often that not, a person who definitely doesn't belong there, she wonders how long it has been going on and why she has been too wrapped up in the usual chaos to realize that someone is following her.

Before life became so complicated; before she was a parent and the hours at work were longer and more demanding, before she had killed an innocent woman in the line of duty and dated a man who cheated on her with prostitutes, before she had begun developing such deep and confusing feelings for a woman who is her boss and should be strictly out of bounds, Amanda is sure she would have noticed that something was amiss. Not entirely convinced that it isn't just her exhausted mind jumping to conclusions, she has mentally run through a long list of people that might have a beef with her and come to the conclusion that unnerving her in the form of stalking would be a suitable revenge for whatever transgression they think she has perpetrated.

It is late Friday night after another long week at the Special Victims Unit and instead of relaxing on the couch with a bottle of beer and a cheesy reality TV show, Amanda finds herself pacing in front of the window in her bedroom, Jesse snoring softly under the covers on the queen-size mattress and Frannie sitting silent and alert at the door. The canine's ears are perked as if she is on alert for danger, Amanda throwing her dog a grateful glance before peering cautiously from behind the curtains and watching the unending flow of cars and pedestrians traveling by her building at top speed, as if everyone has somewhere very important to be when it's nearly midnight.

There is an odd feeling churning in the pit of her stomach, like she can't quite trust her instincts right now; convinced that something is wrong while at the same time doubting herself for thinking that someone might actually be out there in the darkness just watching and waiting for her. Amanda has not been feeling well lately, either physically or emotionally, all of the stress of her personal life combined with the insanity of her job slowly chipping away at her ability to get adequate rest and eat a proper diet and exercise regularly, and she wonders if her mind is playing tricks on her when she sees a shadow slink along the brick wall of the restaurant across the street.

She bites down hard on her lower lip, worrying the skin between her front teeth as she picks up her phone and scrolls carefully through the numbers, the names of family members and co-workers sliding by on the screen as she debates exactly what to do next. Her thumb stops on _Olivia Benson_ and hovers there in mid-air for a moment, wondering if her lieutenant has gone to bed or is perhaps still awake and watching a movie while drinking a glass of wine and trying to wind down from their hectic week.

The last several days have been very tense in the squad room as they've dealt with a high-profile case involving children and the team had spent more time snapping at each other instead of getting along. Things between herself and Olivia have seemed particularly strained lately, and Amanda is overcome with a wave of sorrow and longing as she stares down at the older woman's number, wanting the brunette to assure her that nothing is wrong and she is just imagining things due to the immense amount of stress that she has been under.

The friendship she has developed with Olivia over the past several years of working together has been one of intense highs and lows, depending on what is going on at work and in their personal lives, their strong personalities still clashing quite frequently despite becoming much closer with one another. Amanda has to admit that the feelings she has for her lieutenant have always been intense, though, never actually able to pinpoint what it is that she wants with Olivia; a relationship of mere colleagues, a best friendship, or something that goes well beyond either of those options.

She finds herself swinging back and forth on an almost daily basis in terms of her desires, flying from one spectrum to the other as she contemplates what exactly she sees in her future; a platonic relationship that never strays beyond that of work hours and the occasional playdate with their children, or one that goes so far as to actually blend their two families and become one. There are definite romantic feelings that linger below the surface of all the other complicated emotions she feels for Olivia, and maybe even something that can be classified as love, but the craziness of her life in general mixed in with the fact that she and Olivia _still_ don't get along half the time, even after all these years, often gives Amanda pause when she dares to think about what the future might hold.

Now, though, as she stands there stock-still in front of her bedroom window while her daughter slumbers behind her, palms slicked with sweat and heart hammering in her chest as her gaze fixes on that restaurant across the street and the part of the building that looks darker than the rest, as if someone is lingering there in the shadows, she only wants Olivia. Amanda swipes her thumb across the screen after deciding to call instead of text, her heart rate picking up speed as she waits for the older woman to answer and hoping she hasn't woken her up.

"Hello?"

Immediate relief floods through Amanda's system when Olivia's voice sounds concerned but still somewhat energetic and she hears the TV playing softly in the background, glad that her boss is awake enough to have a serious conversation.

"Hey, Liv."

"Amanda, it's midnight. What's going on?" Olivia asks in a low tone, getting right to the point. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Amanda replies honestly, her relief becoming greater just listening to the other woman's voice.

"You don't know?" The concern has switched to confusion now, Amanda listening as Olivia turns the TV off and it grows quiet on her end of the line for a few seconds. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I just..." Amanda trails off for a moment, unable to find the right words to explain what's been going on lately; that perhaps nothing out of the ordinary is even happening at all and everything is just fine, other than being severely sleep-deprived and stressed out.

"Take your time and just try to explain it to me," Olivia instructs soothingly and Amanda blinks tiredly in response, the darkness outside pooling in her eyes and seeming to become thicker as she stares intently across the road and tries to spot the shadow again, realizing that she has taken quite a long pause in their short discussion.

"Something is just weird," she finally blurts out, the power of coherent speech briefly failing her as she scrubs one hand across her forehead and glances over at her daughter, Jesse curled into a tight little ball under the blankets and long blonde hair spreading out across the pillowcase. "I don't know if I'm imagining things. Maybe it's not real and I'm just losing my mind because I'm so exhausted."

"What do you mean?" Olivia repeats sternly, and Amanda can detect a faint note of alarm in her tone now. "What do you think you're imagining?"

"That someone is following me."

There is a terse silence from Olivia's end and a slight intake of breath from the older woman before she speaks again, her tone placid and measured and not displaying any previous trace of panic. "Okay, I'm going to give Lucy a call to have her stay overnight with Noah and then I'm coming over."

"What? Liv, no, don't be ridiculous!" Amanda admonishes with a groan, lowering her voice as the conversation turns more heated and a wave of guilt and shame well up inside her chest even while Olivia is doing exactly what she had hoped. "I shouldn't have called you; I'm just feeling a little out of sorts right now. I shouldn't have bothered you on the weekend."

"Amanda, you're not bothering me and you wouldn't have called if it wasn't important. If your instincts are telling you that something isn't right, you should listen to them," Olivia advises in that firm, placid tone, like she is trying to make Amanda aware of the importance of the situation while also keeping things calm. "You're alone with your little girl and I would feel more comfortable if someone was there with you right now, since you're not feeling entirely safe."

"Olivia, I've been a cop for a long time now," Amanda grouses indignantly as she strides from her bedroom and into the kitchen with Frannie trotting at her heels, not wanting to wake Jesse up if she is going to engage in a loud argument with her superior. "I think I know how to handle myself and my family. And Frannie hasn't left my side since I got home. She's a good guard dog; not that I need anyone to guard me, though. And there's probably nothing even wrong, anyway."

There is a defensive note in her tone, loathe to have Olivia thinking that she can't take care of herself and her daughter, but at the same time desperate for the company of a woman who makes her feel so secure, like nothing bad can ever happen in her presence. Her conflicting feelings for Olivia are not what's important at the moment, however, and she wipes them determinedly from her mind as she concentrates on what the older woman is saying.

"Amanda, I'm not trying to imply that you're not a good cop and you don't know what you're doing," Olivia answers in a placating way but that undercurrent of sternness still residing there, and Amanda knows that this is an argument she is not going to win; that her boss is going to leave her son with the baby-sitter in the middle of the night so she can make sure her detective isn't scared. "Whether or not you are actually being followed, I just want you to feel safe, okay? We can talk about what's been going on and then I'll stay on the couch to make sure you get a good sleep tonight. I'm worried about you and I'd rather be with you while you're going through this."

The soft statement and admission from a woman who doesn't usually reveal much in the way of her feelings begins to thaw the ice that has built up between them, and Amanda finds herself agreeing to Olivia's plan, although not voicing her urge to sleep on the couch with the other woman while Jesse remains in her bed. She chides herself vehemently for once again allowing her thoughts to stray in that direction; the simultaneous wish to push Olivia away while needing the brunette with a desperation that frightens her, and the overwhelming fear she has for Jesse's physical safety threatening to drown her.

After they say their goodbyes and Olivia promises to arrive as quickly as she can, Amanda takes up her former position at her bedroom window, Jesse shifting restlessly on the sheets as Frannie strides in to join her again and Amanda shushing the dog when she lets out a quiet yip. Her thoughts are in turmoil as she stares out into the black night, eyelids occasionally drooping closed while she waits for Olivia and wonders if she is truly losing her mind; that all the sleepless nights and horrific cases and terrible events in her personal life have finally caught up with her and she is becoming unraveled at the seams.

Amanda's elbow is propped up on the windowsill and her chin is resting in her hand, eyelids closed and her brain beginning to wander into dreamland when she hears a soft knock at the door and straightens up, completely startled by a sound that she has been fully expecting. She hurries toward the door to let Olivia inside, making sure that it is indeed her lieutenant standing out in the hallway first, Amanda feeling a gentle brush against her arm as Olivia walks into the apartment with a purse and an overnight bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hey, I got here as fast as I could," the brunette explains as she sets her belongings on the couch and runs a hand through her windblown hair. "How's it going? Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Liv. Thanks for coming," Amanda murmurs in response, feeling that same swell of relief that she had felt upon hearing Olivia's voice on the phone. "Everything's been very quiet. Jesse is sound asleep in my room because she kept begging to sleep in the big bed tonight, and Frannie is still glued to my side."

She gestures at the dog, Frannie's whole body quivering with excitement as she gazes up at Olivia with curiosity and a furry tail thumps rhythmically against the floor, a smile pulling at Amanda's lips when the other woman reaches down to give the canine a pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears. She is disconcerted to find tears suddenly pricking at her eyes as she watches the interplay between Olivia and Frannie, her boss obviously very fond of the animal and Frannie showing her plenty of affection in return as she inclines her head to vigorously lick Olivia's palm, the tinkling of the brunette's laughter filling the living room.

There is something about having this woman in her home in the wee hours of the morning, Olivia dressed in cozy, casual clothing and dropping absolutely everything in order to hurry over here to comfort her and make sure that she and Jesse are safe, that has Amanda dangerously close to crying. She blinks rapidly in an effort to rid herself of the offending liquid, not wanting to look any more inept than she likely already does in front of her superior, swiping an arm quickly over her eyes and pointing to the purse and bag that are sitting on the couch.

"So do you want me to help you get set up for the night? I can put some sheets and blankets on the cushions so you're a little more comfortable while you sleep."

Amanda notices that Olivia is regarding her very closely now, her attention straying away from Frannie who appears to be pleading for another head rub, the older woman taking a step toward her and laying a tender hand on her arm. "Don't worry about that right now, okay? Why don't you tell me what's been going on? Why do you think you're being followed?"

"It's nothing specific," Amanda says with a shrug, feeling foolish now that she is ensconced in her brightly lit living room with Olivia and Frannie by her side and Jesse snoozing peacefully nearby. "It's just an odd sort of sensation, like someone is there a lot but not all the time. It comes and goes. You know how sometimes there's a shadow in your peripheral vision but when you turn to look, it's gone?"

At Olivia's nod, a frown marring her tanned features, Amanda gives another shrug and continues in an offhanded manner, as if the situation is not really that big of a deal. "Well, it's like that. I swear, at times there is someone creeping behind me or hiding around the corner or standing across the street from my building, but I can never seem tell if it's my brain playing tricks on me or if someone is actually there. Nothing else is happening, like threatening phone calls or texts or someone calling and hanging up or random knocks on the door. I just don't know what to think at this point."

"How long has this been going on?" Olivia asks softly, long fingers closing around Amanda's wrist and the taller woman pulling her down onto the couch so they are sitting side by side, squished together onto one half while Olivia's belongings take up the other half.

"That's the thing; I don't really know," Amanda replies in a hushed, regretful tone, thinking of all the times she has just gone through the motions without truly paying attention to her surroundings and realizing just how much she has slipped over the past while and how much she has changed; that she has become too busy and fatigued and complacent while fervently wishing for certain things in her life to change but not doing anything about them.

A tear slips down her cheek before she can stop it as she ponders the possibility of putting Jesse's well-being at risk because she has let both the mundane and the traumatic aspects of her life rise up and consume her, enveloped in the daily grind and not paying attention to many things outside of her little bubble of work and family. At the same time, there is that persistent nagging thought that nothing is truly wrong and she is simply in need of a vacation; a break from the somewhat chaotic way that she lives her life and all of the torment she has been through both personally and professionally over the course of the past several years.

"I just want my child to be safe," Amanda gasps out around the sudden lump that has risen in her throat, a shiver running down her spine when Olivia reaches up to caress her damp cheek with a smooth hand that lingers there.

"She _is_ safe, Amanda," the older woman assures her with a quiet fierceness, Amanda feeling herself calming down bit by bit as Olivia's soft fingertips stroke back and forth across her cheekbone. "We're both here with her and we're going to get to the bottom of things, I promise. But what you need the most right now is a good night's sleep. You look absolutely exhausted. We don't really have much to go on right now other than your suspicion that something isn't right but we can start looking into some things; just do a little investigating on our own for the time being."

"I don't care what happens to me as long as Jesse is okay," Amanda whispers as she stares imploringly at Olivia, those deep brown eyes gazing steadily at her with compassion and concern.

" _I_ care what happens to you," Olivia whispers back as their eyes remain locked on one another, the older woman's hand sliding down to Amanda's arm and resting there like they are used to touching each other in this casual, tender way. "You're very important to me."

"Maybe this whole thing is my fault," Amanda continues in a choked tone, her heart warming with Olivia's surprising words but unable to let go of the guilt that her daughter might come to some sort of harm because of her, and choosing not to respond to the confession. "Maybe I've been neglecting Jesse's safety because I'm so busy with everything else and I've ended up putting her at risk."

"Amanda, you are an incredible mother to that little girl and she is very lucky to have you," Olivia replies firmly, her hold around Amanda's arm tightening as those penetrating dark orbs bore into her own watery blue ones. "If something is actually happening here that you need to be worried about, it's not your fault. We're going to get things figured out, okay? And Jesse will be just fine."

She nods gratefully and shifts closer to Olivia on the couch, blowing out a breath and opening her mouth to answer when the room suddenly explodes with sound, Amanda rearing back from the taller form in shock and leaping to her feet, her heart hammering wildly as she starts sprinting toward her bedroom. She has no idea what has just happened; the only thought in her head to get to her daughter when she feels Olivia's hand on her arm again, the brunette directing her attention toward the window behind the couch and Amanda whirling around in confusion.

"I think someone just threw a rock and it hit the glass," Olivia says calmly, Amanda frowning in perplexity as the noise had sounded much louder than just a stone being tossed against her window. "There were a group of teenagers goofing around out there when I got here. I heard one of them say how long it was taking for his father to pick them up, so I think they're waiting for him."

"Well, they shouldn't be throwing rocks at my apartment just because they're bored," Amanda snaps as she lunges toward the glass and throws the window open, gazing down at the darkened street and spotting the group of young people that Olivia had mentioned. "We should arrest the little shits for disturbing my peace and quiet when I feel like I'm about to explode from stress."

"Amanda, we're not going to do that," Olivia admonishes as they kneel side by side on the cushions and watch as a car pulls up to the curb, a middle-aged bearded man getting out of the driver's seat and apologizing as the teenagers pile into the vehicle, their voices rising into the air and one of them chastising his dad for being so late. "We have more important things to concentrate on besides some annoying kids who are about to leave the area."

Amanda makes eye contact with one of the teenage boys as he gets into the vehicle, shaking her head and gritting her teeth as he presents his middle finger and sticks his tongue out before tossing a handful of pebbles at the building and promptly getting yelled at by the adult of the group. They pull away from the curb and join the traffic as she hears someone on a lower floor shouting out the window, and figures her neighbors have been subjected to the rock-throwing as well, rolling her eyes as relief pierces through the panic and her heart rate begins to slow.

"Come on, Amanda, let's get settled down for the night," Olivia suggests softly, Amanda feeling the older woman's hand rubbing up and down her back and trailing through the ends of her long hair, so thankful for her lieutenant's presence in her home and relishing in her comforting touch.

"Yeah, okay, I need to calm down a bit," she agrees tiredly, dragging her gaze away from the street and preparing to turn around and sit back down on the couch with Olivia when her eyes land on the same shadowy form she had seen at the restaurant across the road earlier.

This time the shadow detatches itself from the building and strides swiftly around the corner, the distinct figure of a man passing underneath a streetlight too quickly for Amanda to make out any of his features before he disappears into the night.

Her heart is in her throat as she glances over at Olivia, the older woman's attention momentarily diverted as she pulls a pair of pajamas out of her bag, Amanda swallowing hard and wondering yet again if she is going crazy or if someone is truly stalking her.


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to say a big thank you for the supportive messages that people left on the previous chapter; I appreciate them so much! :)**

 **Although this fic takes place in season 20, I started writing it before the new season began airing so it's not following the current storylines. I just want to do my own plotline.**

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Amanda can't seem to fall asleep no matter how hard she tries.

A quick peek at the clock on the nightstand beside the bed confirms that she has been tossing and turning for several hours now, unable to settle down and let herself drift off into a much-needed slumber. The apartment is dark and silent, Jesse still curled up under the covers next to her and Frannie opting to abandon her post by Amanda's side in favor of keeping Olivia company in the living room while the older woman snoozes.

Amanda is very envious of everyone else's ability to sleep, and wonders how she is going to make it through the weekend with the fatigue weighing heavy on her limbs and eyelids that are sore and begging to close. Instead of letting them flutter shut and doing everything she can to clear her brain of troubling thoughts and let her mind go blank, Amanda heaves a weary sigh and throws her legs over the side of the mattress, slipping out of bed as carefully as she can so as not to wake her daughter.

She creeps out to the living room on legs that are trembling with exhaustion, noticing a hint of light peeking out from behind the blinds and realizing that the sun will be rising soon, bringing an end to yet another sleepless night. Olivia is a shapeless lump under the blankets on the couch, a mop of unruly dark hair sticking out from beneath the covers, Frannie sprawled on the floor next to the sofa in a tangle of furry limbs, as if the dog had decided that Olivia is the one who needs to be guarded instead.

Amanda feels the same swell of emotion that had overcome her when the brunette had arrived at her apartment, so grateful for Olivia's soothing presence in her home, and forcing herself to turn away from the couch instead of squeezing onto the cushions beside her, like she has the sudden urge to do. Rather than invading her lieutenant's personal space while she sleeps, Amanda tiptoes over to the window to peer out into the slowly brightening early morning scenery, the city still as alive with people and traffic as it had been at midnight.

She is relieved to see nothing out of the ordinary this time, no shadowy figure lurking by the restaurant across the street, her rapid heart rate settling into a more normal rhythm when the soft voice behind her makes her jump, the organ picking up speed once again and practically bursting right from her chest with surprise.

"Amanda?"

She whirls away from the window to see Olivia sitting up on the couch, the blankets pooling at her waist as she rubs her knuckles over her eyes. "Sorry," the older woman whispers as she holds her hands up in front of her in a non-threatening gesture, Amanda letting out a stuttering breath of relief. "What are you doing? What time is it?"

"It's really early," Amanda says quietly, keeping her tone at nearly a whisper, not wanting to alert Frannie to her presence and have the canine start going wild with the excitement of being reunited with her owner after a night spent in separate rooms. "You should go back to sleep."

"I'm used to waking up really early," Olivia replies with a shrug, voice gravelly with slumber as she shifts over on the couch and pats the cushions in invitation. "Come here. Sit down with me."

Amanda hesitates momentarily before complying, walking with measured steps over to the sofa and taking a seat beside Olivia, the brunette's hand brushing against her arm as she gets settled and creating pleasant tingles on her skin. There is several seconds of silence before Olivia speaks again, the older woman's fingers drifting down to clasp Amanda's hand and give a brief squeeze, as if trying to impart some comfort or to keep her mind from drifting away and running in circles.

"What's going on? Why are you up already?"

"I can't sleep," Amanda mutters in response, watching Frannie's paws twitch and wondering what her pet is dreaming about.

"Got a lot on your mind, huh?" Olivia answers sympathetically, Amanda nodding in return when she feels another squeeze of her hand. "We'll get things figured out."

She simply nods again without giving a verbal reply, not wanting to show how doubtful she is about this strange situation coming to a quick and peaceful resolution.

"Were you looking at something out the window?" Olivia continues in a low tone, Amanda feeling a nudge against her shoulder when her eyes drift toward the window in question.

"I thought I saw someone standing out there earlier, both before you got here and after those teenagers were throwing rocks at the building," Amanda murmurs as a wave of paranoia overtakes her, stomach churning nervously. "I was just checking again."

"Did you see anyone or anything out of the ordinary?" Olivia's voice is concerned but Amanda is sure that she can detect a note of skepticism residing beneath the worry, her eyebrows pulling together in a frown as she yanks her hand away from the other woman's touch.

"Nope, I didn't. Doesn't mean someone isn't out there, though," she adds defensively, inching away on the couch and wanting to put some space between herself and the person she has such tumultuous feelings for.

"I didn't say there wasn't." Olivia's tone is pacifying, Amanda watching from the corner of her eye as the older woman reaches out for her again. "Amanda, you're shaking. Come on, get under the covers with me."

She cannot seem to keep her heart rate at a stable pace when Olivia holds out a corner of one of the blankets to her, the brunette obviously trying to maintain some distance so as not to startle Amanda further, while making another offer to sit closer together if that's what she wants to do. Amanda bites down on the inside of her cheek, her mind at war with itself as she contemplates getting up from the couch and going back into her room to snuggle up with Jesse, but ultimately deciding to take Olivia up on her offer and ducking beneath the warm blankets.

They perch silently on the cushions, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, Amanda listening to the older woman's soft breathing in the dimness of the living room, horrified to feel tears pricking at her eyelids yet again and chastising herself for not being able to hold it together whenever Olivia is around. The lieutenant seems to sense the combination of exhaustion and fear and uncertainty that is radiating from Amanda's body and causing her to shudder even more, Amanda turning her head away as a tear escapes her eye and rolls slowly down one cheek.

"Come here, sweetie. Let me help you fall asleep for a little while."

Amanda glances at Olivia in perplexity, wondering what her boss has in mind, her heart melting at a term of endearment that would have irritated her if it was uttered by anyone else. She notices Olivia's hand patting her lap and realizes that the older woman is suggesting that she rest her head there, goosebumps breaking out along Amanda's skin as she contemplates this shift in intimacy between them.

Deciding to set aside thoughts of how contentious things have been with Olivia over the past while, due to her confusing feelings and the distressing high-profile case that the team was recently involved in, Amanda concentrates on the level of comfort and security that the brunette is bringing to her now, allowing her appreciation to outweigh any negativity that she still feels toward her. Olivia has been nothing but kind and caring and accommodating since her arrival several hours earlier, and all Amanda wants to do is to curl up with the older woman and let herself relax and drift off to sleep.

She stretches out across the length of the couch, adjusting the blankets to cover her body as she lays her head in Olivia's lap and lets out a deep breath that she didn't know she was holding. Her eyelids flutter in pleasure before closing completely when she feels Olivia's fingertips lightly touch the crown of her head and the other woman's palm begins smoothing over her rumpled hair in long, soothing strokes, fingers methodically working their way through any tangles that they encounter.

"Just try to get some sleep," she hears Olivia whisper as the lieutenant continues her tender ministrations, and this time Amanda thinks she might actually be able to drop off into slumber, a smile of contentment pulling at the corner of her mouth. "I'm here with you and Jesse. You're both safe and sound and everything is going to be okay, I promise."

As the older woman speaks very softly to her and starts gently kneading the back of her neck, Amanda finally feels that blissful pull of unconsciousness and surrenders herself to the darkness.

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She is not sure how much time has passed as she slowly becomes alert to her surroundings once again and fully awakens, realizing with no small amount of wonder that she has actually fallen asleep and gotten some honest to goodness rest. Amanda guesses that it is still pretty early in the day as Jesse has not yet joined them in the living room or called out for her, the apartment still as quiet as it was earlier, although weak sunlight has begun to filter through the gaps in the blinds.

She simultaneously becomes aware of two things as she struggles to orient her fuzzy brain; the first is that at some point over the past while, Frannie had apparently decided that she didn't want to sleep alone on the floor anymore and has wedged herself onto the couch with the two women, draping her furry form over top of them both. The second revelation has Amanda's heart thumping against her ribs and a light sheen of sweat breaking out over her skin when she sees that her head is no longer in Olivia's lap and they are both stretched out across the cushions now, bodies entwined together on the sofa.

She doesn't know when they had rearranged themselves and switched into such an intimate position, but her head is tucked snugly beneath Olivia's chin, their arms wrapped around each other and legs twisted into a tight knot, the older woman's chest rising and falling as she snores softly. Amanda feels safe and warm and more well-rested than usual, even though she hasn't slept for very long, and despite the knowledge that she should pull away from her boss and vacate the couch, she cuddles even closer and inhales Olivia's sweet, familiar scent.

She feels the other woman's arms tighten around her in response, even though she is clearly still asleep, and Amanda is stunned at how right it feels to be waking up in Olivia's embrace; how natural it seems to be doing this. There is a part of her that is nervous about Olivia's reaction when she awakens, but it is not enough to remove herself from the comforting tangle of limbs and put an end to one of the only peaceful moments she has had in weeks.

When Amanda tilts her head up to peer at Olivia's slack expression, her mouth hanging slightly open as she snoozes, a smile creeps across her face as she takes in the wild hair atop the other woman's head, catching Olivia in an unguarded, vulnerable state that she doesn't get to see her in too often. She laughs quietly and reaches up to smooth down the disheveled dark strands with her fingers, her arm freezing in mid-air when Olivia's eyelids crack open and she suddenly finds herself face to face with the woman who occupies her thoughts more often than not.

They stare at one another without speaking, Amanda licking her dry lips and realizing just how close her mouth is to Olivia's, her gaze straying down to fix on those plump, inviting lips before darting back up with a sheepish grin. Olivia's expression has gone from relaxed to pensive to unreadable in the span of mere seconds and Amanda begins stuttering out an apology, not wanting the older woman to think that she has overstepped her boundaries while she has been asleep.

Olivia cuts her off mid-sentence by running a hand over her back and asking if she has managed to get any sleep, chuckling at being squished into the cushions by both Amanda and Frannie and joking about being unable to get back up. Amanda appreciates the lighthearted banter and assures Olivia that she was able to get a bit of rest and feels better than she did previously, watching the soft smile that graces the brunette's face at this news.

She longs to stay snuggled up on the couch with Olivia and remain in this more joyful, carefree mood, but her dark thoughts are quickly intruding again to crowd out anything else, Amanda knowing that she has to get on with her day and figure out if there really is someone following her or if her imagination is just spiraling out of control. As she gets to her feet and stretches out her aching limbs after gently waking up Frannie and shooing her back onto the floor, the same feeling hits her again; that in the light of day with her boss and her dog in the same room and her daughter about to awaken and demand breakfast, everything seems calm and non-threatening, and perhaps she is overreacting to the situation.

"Are you sure you're doing okay?" Olivia asks softly as they walk toward Amanda's bedroom with the intention of checking on Jesse, Frannie dancing eagerly around their legs and likely wanting her own breakfast.

"I don't know," Amanda admits quietly as they pause in the doorway together and Olivia gives her shoulder a squeeze. "I honestly don't know, Liv."

Olivia looks like she is about to respond when they are distracted by Jesse's loud yawn and Amanda turns her attention toward the little girl with an affectionate roll of her eyes. "Okay, what's wrong with this picture?" she asks with a chuckle, gesturing to her daughter who is slumbering right in the middle of the big bed and appears quite content. "You, me, and Frannie are crammed onto that small couch and the tiniest member of the group gets this huge bed all to herself. That doesn't really seem fair."

"Well, in my experience, the kids usually run the household and get whatever they want," Olivia answers with a laugh. "I try to be strict with Noah, but I end up giving in to him more often than I would like. It's hard to say no sometimes, especially if it's for something that you know will make them happy."

"You're telling me," Amanda says with a shake of her head, crossing her arms over her chest as she observes her child. "Jesse asks to sleep in my bed every single night because she misses me so much during the day. I know it's a bad habit to get into so I try not to encourage it, but I also know that it makes her happy so sometimes I give in. Although it probably would have made a lot more sense if..."

She trails off, a hot blush coloring her cheeks as she realizes what she had been about to say, throwing a glance at the taller woman standing beside her.

"If you and I had shared your bed instead?" Olivia finishes in a low tone, one dark eyebrow arching high on her forehead.

"Well, yes," Amanda admits softly, trying not to concentrate too hard on the erotic images that suddenly spring to mind. "We would have had a lot more space, although I guess it's not very appropriate to invite my boss into my bed, is it?"

"It's no more inappropriate than the two of us spending the night squished onto your couch together," Olivia replies with what sounds like a hint of amusement, but Amanda's stomach twisting with guilt nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, Liv, I don't even know how we got into that position," she mutters under her breath, her attention diverted toward the bed again when Jesse grunts quietly and stretches her arms above her head, the tiny blonde's eyelids fluttering like she is about to wake up.

"It's okay, I'm not blaming you," Olivia assures her gently, Amanda feeling a light touch against her back and thinking she could used to feeling the older woman's touch on a regular basis. "I was the one who asked you to put your head in my lap, and then we must have rearranged ourselves while we were asleep. I'm sorry if I stepped over the boundary line."

Amanda is just about about to reply, intent on explaining that Olivia has in no way overstepped her boundaries and she has appreciated the comforting physical contact, when Jesse sits up in the bed, long hair standing out in a wild mess as she rubs her hands over her eyes and fixes them with a quizzical expression. A wide grin breaks out over her sleepy features when she notices Olivia standing there, the little girl holding out her arms and shouting "Aunt Liv!" and the quiet of the apartment effectively shattered as Olivia rushes over to give Jesse a hug.

The ensuing domestic display in the kitchen is distracting Amanda from her worries, feeling more at ease than usual as she and Jesse and Olivia sit around the kitchen table in their pajamas, eating bowls of cereal while Frannie chomps noisily from her dog dish on the floor. She finds herself wishing that Noah was here as well, to complete this little family scene, but immediately tries to banish these thoughts from her brain and remind herself that Olivia needs to leave soon to return home to her son and relieve Lucy from her unexpected babysitting duties.

When the meal is over and Jesse is settled in front of the television to enjoy some Saturday morning cartoons, Amanda brings her phone and laptop out to the table so she and Olivia can search through her text messages and emails for anything that seems suspicious or unusual. The abnormally placid feeling that has enveloped Amanda as she spends time with her daughter and lieutenant is slowly being replaced by the customary doubt and agitation that she has felt lately, her knee bouncing up and down beneath the table when it occurs to her that they are no closer to figuring out what the problem is than they were when Olivia had arrived.

"Take it easy, sweetie," she hears the older woman whisper, Amanda tearing her eyes away from the computer screen when she feels a tender palm come to rest on her thigh, Olivia's hand trying to still the restless movement of her leg. "We'll get this figured out."

"Yeah, that's what you keep saying but it doesn't seem to be happening." Amanda's voice is bitter and exhausted as she locks gazes with her boss, softening her tone when she sees the gentle compassion shining in Olivia's eyes. "I think the evidence or lack thereof is proving that I'm just going crazy and nothing is actually wrong besides me losing my mind from stress and not getting enough sleep. The only thing I have to go on is the feeling that something isn't quite right."

"Well, sometimes that's enough," Olivia says softly, Amanda noticing that the brunette hasn't removed her hand from her leg and taking some comfort from the light touch. "But I think we need to do something to help you reduce your stress and start sleeping properly. It sounds like you've gotten into a bit of an unhealthy routine."

Amanda nods miserably and scrubs her hands over her face, feeling so tired and out of sorts and stifling an annoyed sigh when those stubborn tears begin welling in her eyes again. She is determined not to start crying when her daughter is sitting right there on the couch, giggling at the antics playing out on the television screen, and her lieutenant is perched so closely beside her that their knees are brushing against each other, Olivia's concerned stare practically boring a hole right through her head.

"You mentioned that you've seen someone standing outside a couple of times," the older woman continues gently, and Amanda is unsure if Olivia is just placating her at this point or if she actually believes there might be a problem. "But you didn't get a good enough look to identify him? It was definitely a male, though?"

"Yes, it was a man," Amanda murmurs as she mentally runs through the list of men that might want to do her harm, both in her personal life and perpetrators that she has come into contact with at the precinct, and is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of them. "He was standing in the dark so I couldn't figure out if I knew him; if I've seen him before."

A disturbing thought occurs to her that the person who has been lurking in the shadows might not even be someone she knows, but possibly a random stranger who has seen her out on the street and become fixated on her for whatever the reason. Amanda feels a wave of nausea rushing up her throat at the prospect of not being able to solve this issue until something terrible happens, simply because there seem to be an unending list of potential suspects, including people she doesn't even know exist.

She throws a glance at Jesse and Frannie who are cuddled up on the couch together, the dog's head resting in the little girl's lap, not a care in the world for either child or canine as the silly cartoons play in front of them, and Amanda has to swallow back a sudden sob. Her little family is the picture of innocence and she wants it to remain that way; can't bear the notion that someone might be creeping around outside her building with the intention of hurting not only her but those she loves most in the world.

Through a blur of unshed tears, she is aware of Olivia's strong but careful grip on her arms, the older woman helping Amanda to her feet and leading her into the bedroom where she shuts the door most of the way to allow for some privacy. Amanda is appreciative of the gesture, as she doesn't want Jesse to have to witness her mother's impending breakdown, turning into Olivia's embrace when the brunette pulls her against her chest.

"It's okay, sweetheart, I've got you," Olivia whispers into her ear as Amanda melts gratefully into her arms, no longer able to hold back the tidal wave of tears that come streaming down her face.

She sniffles as quietly as possible into Olivia's shoulder as they hold onto each other tightly, her knees buckling under the weight of immense fatigue and stress, and listening to her boss' surprised gasp as Olivia struggles to keep her upright. They shuffle over to the bed in a tangle of limbs and collapse onto the mattress together, Amanda burying her face in Olivia's neck and her tears wetting the taller woman's skin, any shame or embarrassment disappearing as she seeks the comfort that she so desperately needs right now.

Olivia rocks her back and forth on the bed for a moment before Amanda pulls away slightly so they are looking one another in the eye, those penetrating dark orbs seeming to peer right into her soul with a depth of intensity that Amanda can't recall ever seeing from anyone else. The older woman's hands are smoothing through her hair and skimming over her cheekbones in a tender display of affection that has butterfly wings slicing through the knot of nerves in her stomach, unsure if she wants to collapse back into Olivia's arms in another fit of tears or close the remaining gap between them and press her mouth to those plump, pink lips.

Amanda is leaning slowly forward, Olivia's eyes still fixed intently on her own, when a childish scream suddenly pierces the air and a shiver of dread runs down her spine, stark terror stealing her breath away as she leaps to her feet and stumbles toward the living room.


End file.
